


Contribute to the Chaos

by Qpenguin98



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Suicide Attempt, i did a hit on the boy and im sorry, its not named as such but thats whats going on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 18:46:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15030965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qpenguin98/pseuds/Qpenguin98
Summary: There is something wrong with his magic boy.There’s been something wrong with his magic boy for a while now, but Taako can’t figure out what it is.





	Contribute to the Chaos

Taako likes to pretend he’s clueless about emotions and how they effect people. He doesn’t get all mushy gushy with hardly anyone, especially about sad, personal stuff. He acts like he can’t recognize when something’s off about a person he knows when really it’s very easy to tell when there’s something wrong. People are never as good at hiding their emotions as they think they are.

There is something wrong with his magic boy.

There’s been something wrong with his magic boy for a while now, but Taako can’t figure out what it is.

Currently, Angus is away at Lucas’s school. He’s learning how to be a teacher, taking short lessons on that alongside his actual classes. The house, while definitely not empty, feels a little less full right now. Barry and Lup are still there. Taako thinks they probably won’t end up leaving, at least not for a while. It’s been over a year, almost two, and they’re pretty settled in. Kravitz is there, of course. He’s settled in nicely as well. It’s less uncomfortable between him and Lup and Barry now. Forced contact by working and living together will do that to you, he guesses.

Taako won’t say he misses Angus, but it’s been a good few months of him at the school with only short days of visits in between. He looks tired, sounds tired, and Taako wonders if he’s overworking himself. He’d done it some on the moonbase, getting lost in the information for days on end until he’d finally pass out from exhaustion at a cafeteria table or a library chair.

He hadn’t called in a few days, and usually Angus is prompt in his bi-weekly stone calls home. Mondays and Thursdays, right around five o’clock. He’d called Monday, sounding tired but happy to chat, but nothing on Thursday.

It’s not like Taako cares. The kid can do what he wants. He’s technically not even his kid, he just lives in his house and learns how to cook and use magic on the weekends.

But he’d called today, apologizing for the lateness and sounding even more rundown than the last time.

“You’re sure you’re okay up there, bubeleh? I mean, I know you can take care of yourself, like, obvs, but you’re sounding a little beat there, Agnes.”

“I’m alright Taako. Just wanted you to know nothing happened on Thursday. I was doing some extra studying with Mr. Miller and lost track of time.”

“Of course, kid. Just take care of yourself, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says, sounding unsure. “I just… I love you Taako.”

“Love you too, Angles. You wanna talk to Krav or Barry or Lup before you go?”

“No I, um, I have to get back to studying soon. There’s a test coming up that’d I’d like to do well on. Tell them I love them and want to see them soon?”

“Mhm, can do. You’re fine though, right?”

“Perfectly fine.”

“Alright. Call on Monday, m’kay? Gotta make sure the resident magic boy’s good and all that.”

“We do it every week,” Angus says, and he can hear the smile in his voice. “It’s already in the schedule.”

“Good. You better do well on that test to leave us all with this little Ango time.”

“I plan on it!”

“Bye, Angus.”

“Bye Taako!”

“He didn’t want to talk to us?” Lup asks over lunch. “Weird. Kid always wants to talk about cool nerd shit with Barry.”

“He sounded busy, I guess,” Taako says, taking a drink as he stirs the vegetables on the stovetop. “Little nerd’s got too much to do.”

“It is weird that he waited this long to call.” Kravitz steals his glass to take a drink, and Taako grabs it back when he’s done, motioning towards the myriad of cups they have. Kravitz ignores him. “He’s usually very prompt in letting us know if something’s come up.”

“He can do what he wants,” Taako says, turning off the heat. With those done, lunch is ready. “Not like we’re his parents.”

“Oh, someone’s worried,” Lup says.

“Shush it, I’m not worried. You’re worried. Shut up.”

Barry snorts and moves around them to grab his plate full of food. “Yeah, you tell yourself that.”

“Whatever, _Barold_ , if that even is your real name.”

“You know it’s not. That’s a purely you and Lup creation out of my actual, legal name. It’s Barry and we all know it.”

The topic of Angus gets dropped for a while. They spend the rest of the day working on their respective projects, Barry working on research in the basement that only bends the rules of life and death a little bit. Taako gets to plan an assembly. It’s a good time to get show offy. Also he gets to corral all his ridiculous students into one cramped room and make them watch him spout some bullshit for an hour. Ren loves assembly days. It makes planning so much easier.

Taako gets a little wine drunk at dinner, pulling an old bottle out for the table. He maybe hoards it, letting them get a glass only if they can get it from him. Lup’s the only one capable of getting the wine bottle away from him, and she definitely shares it with the other two. He relents, eventually. Dinner’s been eaten for a while, but there’s still wine in the bottle, so the table’s not cleared.

“You know who doesn’t appreciate us? Angus. He’s been around so long he doesn’t even get how cool we are.”

“Speak for yourself,” says Barry. “I am not and never have been cool, and yet the kid still wants to talk theory with me.”

“You’re cool, babe. You saved the world. That automatically makes you cool.”

“Well, he did know you before you got ‘cool,’ so maybe the wonder is only lost for you,” Kravitz says, pouring himself a little more wine. “I for one think Angus appreciates us fine. Him not calling on time one day doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you anymore.”

“No one ever said that,” Taako grumbles into his glass. “I just think he should maybe endeavor to make his time for us actual _time_ , that’s all.”

“Are you getting jealous of a job?” Lup presses her fingers together and grins. “Oh you so are. You’re jealous that little mister detective has actual time commitments and can’t always call you right away.”

“Ugh,” Taako flops his head onto the table. “I’m not. He just sounds real burnt out recently and I think he should have some time for himself and us. That’s all I’m getting at here.”

The topic of Angus turns to the topic of Lucas, which melds into a recent reaper job Barry had, to what the Raven Queen does in her free time, if she even has any.

It gets late, closer and closer to midnight until it finally hits and the glasses are almost fully empty. Taako swirls his hand around, idly producing a swirl of sparkles as Lup and Barry get into an animated conversation about their boss mom and her godly free time.

And then Kravitz sits up ramrod straight, eyes fuzzing out like they do when the Raven Queen speaks with him, and he sucks in a loud breath of air.

When his eyes clear his head snaps towards Taako, hands pushing himself up. “We gotta go, we have to go _right now_.”

“What?” Taako stands, steadying himself on his chair. “What’s going on, boneman?”

“I can’t—,” Kravitz motions a hand towards Lup and Barry, summoning his scythe with the other. “We have to _go_ , Taako.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s Angus,” he says, voice reedy as he rips a hole in the air. Lup and Barry are crowding in closer as Kravitz practically drags Taako through the rift with him. The other two follow closely behind.

They land in a forest. It’s dark, Taako’s eyes taking a second to adjust. All woods look the same at night, trees looking like any other tree. What’s different is the body sitting upright against a trunk, arms wrapped around itself, babbling something he can’t understand.

And as his eyes clear, that body forms into Angus. Taako thinks he says a curse out loud as he scrambles out of Kravitz’s grip and over next to him. He puts a gentle hand on his cheek and finds it warm, tinged darker than usual. Angus looks up at him, eyebrows furrowed, pupils blown out even more than they should be in the darkness.

“What the fuck is going on,” Lup asks behind them, voice shaky.

“Angus? What’s up, my dude? You’re not looking so hot.” Taako tries to keep his voice level.

“Wha… I don’, Taako?” His voice slurs out of his mouth, tongue heavy and clumsy, and Taako places shaking fingers against the pulse point on his neck. It feels much too fast, pounding heavy against his fingertips.

“Shh, shhhh, you’re good. It’s all good, Ango.” Something’s poisoning him. There’s no sign of anyone else here, so either they lured him out here a while ago or he’s done this himself. Taako doesn’t want to think about that. He’s not going to think about that. That his magic boy poisoned himself in the woods alone in the middle of the night. Looking around finds him a half full pouch. Angus shoves at him with weak arms, moaning something he can’t make out. Kravitz is talking quietly behind him but Taako isn’t paying attention.

He opens the bag carefully and pours out some of what’s left in the bag. Dark berries spill into his palm and his heart catches in his throat. Deadly nightshade. Good. Great. He throws the berries and the bag out into the trees.

“Go get Merle,” he half yells. “Go get Merle, please fuck get someone, he needs a healer, this is—”

He chokes off as Angus starts babbling again. There’s a sorry mixed in there, his name among the many sounds he making. He tries to stand but wobbles back down. The sound of a rift reaches his ears and he breathes a little easier, but not fully easy.

He scoots around behind him, wrapping his arms around his middle and holding him close so he doesn’t get up and hurt himself more. There’s something heavy lodged in his throat, a wet ache behind his eyes, and he presses his face into his curls.

“’M sorry Taako,” slurs out of his mouth before he goes back to his wordless mumbling.

“Shh, it’s all okay, baby. You’re gonna be okay. I gotcha, I got you. Just hold on. Hold on. It’ll be okay. Merle’s coming. Someone’s coming. Please. _Please_.”

Angus lets out a half hearted yell and wiggles in his arms. Taako can feel his heart slamming against his ribs, or maybe that’s his own. The heat from his skin seeps through his clothes and Taako holds him close. Doesn’t let him get too far.

There’s a spasm that wracks through his body, muscles twitching in ways they shouldn’t, and Taako lets out a sob against his hair. The ripping noise happens again and he looks up to see Barry pulling a very sleepy looking Merle through the rift. He’s wearing boxers and a half buttoned shirt but Taako couldn’t give two shits about that right now.

“Help,” he wobbles out as Angus seizes up in his arms. He slackens his grip as he convulses and Taako can’t breathe, can only watch as his eyes close loosely and his body relaxes back down.

“What the fuck did he take?” Merle leans down next to them, hand at the ready.

“Deadly nightshade,” he says, dragging him back up into that same sitting position. “The berries were in his bag. He- I don’t know how full it was but he’s not good, Merle, _do something_ —”

His hand glows green and he presses it to his stomach. He mutters something Taako can’t hear and Angus’s eyes open wide. He leans over Taako’s arm, vomits into the grass, lays back down, twitches, and goes still.

His stomach lurches and he turns his eyes towards Merle with so much hurt. “What the _fuck_ did you just do?!”

“Calm down,” he says, motioning to the very still Angus in his arms. “He’s fine. Look at him. He’s breathing, his heart rate’s going down.”

Looking closer, Taako can see the slow rise and fall of his chest. He presses his fingers to his neck again and his pulse is back down to a much more reasonable speed. His hands shake as they wrap back around him and he bends over and presses his forehead to Angus’s, upside down.

A choked off sob works its way out of his mouth and he squeezes his eyes shut. He feels very sobered up. Any warm fuzzies from the wine are gone, and he feels a crack run through his chest as he cries.

“Fuck,” he hears Merle mumble, sitting down on the grass next to them. A hand presses to his shoulder, cool and familiar, and he doesn’t shrug Kravitz away. Lukewarm arms wrap around his shoulders and he shudders.

“We should get him home,” Kravitz says, voice thin. “He needs some rest and I don’t think the forest floor is a good place for that.”

“I’m not leaving him,” Taako snaps wetly.

“He didn’t say that, bro bro. he just said to get him home. You can watch over him all you want when he’s in bed.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, “Sorry fuck, yeah, sorry Krav.”

“It’s fine.” He pulls him upright and offers his arms to take Angus but Taako hoists him up gently, holding him close. Kravitz gets the message, wrapping an arm around his shoulder instead. Lup makes the rift back home, opening up in Angus’s bedroom.

“Just let him sleep,” Merle says. “If he wakes up soon, have him drink some water. He’s gonna be dehydrated.”

“I know how to take care of deadly nightshade poisoning, Merle,” he says, setting him down on the bed and taking his shoes off. Angus mumbles something in his sleep, face scrunching up before going slack again.

“If I recall, you’re the one who had Barry drag me out in the middle of the night to heal him, so don’t get all snippy.”

Taako turns around to argue, but lets it go, dropping his hand and pressing his mouth thin. “Yeah. Thank you.”

“You want me to grab him some pj’s?” Lup wrings her hands together, anxiously looking at her kind of nephew in his bed. “He probably doesn’t need to sleep in his fancy boy clothes.”

“Mhm,” he mumbles, getting to work on getting him changed. Lup hands him the pajamas, a comfortable t-shirt and shorts. They slide on easily, and Taako sets him under the covers, head propped up and to the side on his pillow incase he needs to throw up again.

He’s not sure what to do now. Angus is technically fine. He’ll maybe feel a little sick for the next few days, but he’s not dying. He’s not dead. Angus is not dead. Angus is _not_ dead.

“Taako.” He turns to find Barry, hand on his arm. There’s a chair from their dining room pulled seemingly from thin air next to them now. Taako can feel the desperate look on his face, feel himself trying to find words.

“He said sorry,” is what comes out of his mouth before he drops into the chair. Barry doesn’t jump or move away. He keeps his hand on his arm, firm and steady.

“Sounds like something he’d say.”

Taako can’t help the snort of laughter that comes out of him. He scrubs at his face with his hands. There’s no doubt that makeup is smeared all over the area around his eyes. He can’t bring himself to care, reaching out a hand and squeezing Angus’s.

“Do you want me to stay?” Merle comes up next to them, looking at Angus. He looks confused and concerned.

“Do you want to?”

“I mean, if you want me to I will. If not I get it. Also, like, my kids are home alone right now and—”

“Can we call you over? If something goes wrong?”

“Yeah. Taako, yes, come on. You think I’m gonna leave you here and not come back to make sure he’s alright? Like, he’s all juiced up now, but he was not looking good. Of course I’ll come.”

“Then go home if you want. I got this. I know what I’m doing, I think. But if something goes wrong I don’t want to fuck it up more. Just… be ready for one of those three to pop into your house unannounced.”

“Usually am.” He presses a hand to Taako’s shoulder and squeezes hard. He looks up at Barry. “Can you rift me home?”

“Mhm,” Barry says as he rips open the rift. “I’m gonna… can I come over? For a minute or two, just to talk.”

“Yeah, kid, come on.”

The rift closes behind them, leaving Taako with Lup and Kravitz. Kravitz comes and sits down next to him on the floor, resting his head against his thigh. His eyes are closed, face reading hurt. Taako puts the hand not holding Angus’s down on his shoulder, rubbing his thumb between the place where his neck meets shoulder. Lup’s still staring at Angus, wringing her hands together. Her ears are flat back against her head.

“Lulu,” he says hoarsely. “C’mere.”

She looks at him, looks at Kravitz, and then comes and sits on his other side. She jumps her leg and continues wringing her fingers together and then stands up again.

“I’m going to Merle’s. If… If you need anything or something happens you come fucking get me, okay?”

Taako nods and Kravitz makes a noise of assent. She casts one last look at Angus and rips her way through reality.

“Fuck,” Taako says when it’s just him and Kravitz. “This is fucked.”

“Incredibly.”

“He ate nightshade, Krav. That’s… he ate it. He ate nightshade. He knows I- did I do something? Is this because of something I did?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Kravitz says, squeezing his hand. “But I don’t think this is about you.”

“Probably right. Fuck. That’s worse. That means I don’t know why he did it and he _did it anyway_. He was just mumbling nonsense and he said he was sorry and I couldn’t do anything.”

“We were there. That was enough.”

“It’s not going to be because something is deeply wrong with this situation and we gotta figure out why he ate fucking deadly nightshade.”

Kravitz doesn’t say anything, just curls his legs up to the side.

“How did you know?”

“The Raven Queen told me. She said he was dying, or he would die, and told me where and I just… I’m not sure why. She usually doesn’t interfere. Probably Istus.”

“Istus?”

“You’re one of hers, and he’s yours. Istus doesn’t take kindly to her emissaries losing things they shouldn’t lose.”

Taako hums. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll figure it out once he wakes up.”

They’re quiet after that. Angus doesn’t stir but to occasionally mutter something and shift around a bit. Kravitz is awake, he can tell, but his eyes stay closed. He squeezes Taako’s hand sometimes, letting him know he’s still there.

Taako doesn’t get up. He stays right in that chair and waits, watches. Any shift or murmur has him alert, leaning forward a bit to see what he might do. Lup and Barry come back eventually, setting themselves on his free side. Barry gets up at one point to bring them all some water, setting an extra glass on the bedside table for Angus when he wakes up. He also pulls his glasses off his face, folding and setting them up next to the water glass.

Morning comes and he still isn’t awake, having shifted a few more times in his sleep. He’s got his arm tangled up in Taako’s, clutching at his hand.

“Should we call Merle back?” Barry asks, stretching his arms out.

“Unless he starts getting twitchy again he should be fine, but…” Taako smooths his hair back from his face, smaller pieces sticking to his forehead. “I don’t know. Maybe? Just to like bring him all the way back up again?”

“How do you know so much about deadly nightshade poisoning anyway?” Lup asks as Barry calls Merle up on the stone.

“Did my research after I thought I killed forty people with it,” he says lightly. She purses her lips and doesn’t say anything to that.

Merle picks up and Barry goes out in the hall to talk with him. Taako let go of Angus’s hand for a second to take a drink of water, and Angus scrunches his face up and stretches his arms out.

It’s a quiet minute as everyone waits for him to wake up fully. He opens his eyes briefly before shutting them against the light, rubbing at them with his hands. He feels out on the table and finds the water glass, taking a large drink before putting it back and grabbing his glasses. Lup gets up and goes to the hall to grab Barry and maybe Merle.

He scrubs his eyes one last time before putting his glasses on and sitting up, groaning. He opens his eyes, blinking a few times before looking over and catching sight of Taako and Kravitz. His brow furrows and he looks confused.

“What’s… Why am I home?”

Taako’s not actually sure what to say to that. He opens his mouth to say something and nothing comes out. Kravitz puts a hand on his leg.

“Angus, last night you… there was an incident in the woods.”

Angus looks at him, still confused, and Taako watches as he remembers exactly what happened last night. His eyes go wide and he looks between the two of them so fast it almost makes Taako dizzy. And then Lup comes back in with Barry in tow and his breathing quickens.

“Oh no no no no no,” he says placing his hands over his face and shaking his head. “No, I don’t wanna do this I can’t do this.”

“Too bad little man,” Taako says. “Cause we’re doing this.”

“Taako,” Lup says harshly. “Chill”

Angus is still shaking his head, hiding his face in his hands. His breathing is a little ragged and Taako backs off some. They all wait a few seconds to see if he’ll say anything, but all he does is stay hidden behind his hands. The tension in the room is palpable and Taako makes a split second decision.

“Alright!” He says, standing. “Everybody out.”

“What—,” Kravitz starts as Taako pulls him up and pushes him in the direction of the door. Lup and Barry are looking at him like he’s lost his mind.

“Scoot, skedaddle, all those words that mean get going. Magic boy and I are gonna have a conversation. Out.”

“You can’t just kick us out—”

“Yes I sure can! And I am. I’ll fill you in on what needs to be told later, but right now this room is way too crowded for this.”

Lup gives him a nasty look but goes. Kravitz and Barry look at each other and then at Taako before leaving. And then it’s just him and Angus.

Angus has his face pressed into his knees now, glasses on the bed next to him and arms wrapped under his legs. Taako sits on the end of the bed and stretches his legs out.

“Well, we can just sit here forever until Merle gets here and he Zone of Truth’s you into talking, or you could tell me exactly what the fuck happened last night. Your pick.”

He shakes his head, not showing his face, and Taako sighs. “Gods kid come on. Last night fucking sucked for everyone. All I wanna know is why.”

Taako hears him mumble something into his knees. He nudges him with his foot. “Gotta speak louder than that.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says, barely loud enough to be heard.

“Not what I asked!” He’s doing his best to keep his tone cheerful and light because he really doesn’t want to let on exactly how fucked up he got over it last night. He thinks back to their conversation yesterday, when Angus had said he wanted to see Lup, Barry, and Kravitz soon, and he closes his eyes. “You been thinking about doing that for a while?”

Angus doesn’t say anything, which tells him everything he needs for that question. “This one sided conversation thing is really cool. You know I love doing all the talking in a situation. But you know what would be even cooler? Some talking from you!”

“It won’t happen again,” he says, like that’s what Taako wants to hear. Which, it is, a little bit, but it’s also probably a lie.

“That sounds like it’s probably a lie, and still not what I asked. What I asked is why it happened, and I’d really fuckin’ love an answer in the next minute or so.”

“I’m tired,” he says.

“That’s not an—”

“That _is_ an answer.” There we go. That’s what Taako has been waiting for, for the kid to get annoyed and angry enough at him that he spills it all in a rush of emotions. “That’s exactly the answer. I’m tired, and I’m tired of being tired, and tired of feeling jumpy all the time, and tired of being afraid of the shadows and the dark, and tired of trying to make sure you all still want me, and tired of not feeling like I exist and I—”

His voice cracks off and he presses his face further into his knees, a broken humming noise coming from his throat. Taako scoots around and up next to him, tentatively wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He presses in close, not lifting his head but still letting him touch him.

“ _That’s_ what I wanted,” he says, and Angus snorts out a laugh. Taako smiles. “Well, it’s true. I did want you to tell me why, and you sure told me.”

Angus lifts his head up so it rests on top of his knees instead of smushed into them. His eyes look a little damp. Taako reaches around and hands him his glasses, which he slides onto his face silently.

“I think you should stay home for the rest of the semester.”

Angus looks at him, betrayed, and opens his mouth to protest. Taako puts his free hand over his mouth and he narrows his eyes at him.

“I think you’re stressed with school and trying to become a _teacher_ at that school, and you being stressed mixed with all that shit you just said doesn’t seem to be working out for you too good, and I don’t want Kravitz to be too late in getting the message that ‘Boy wonder’s about to off himself!’ next time.”

“You just wanna keep me locked up where you can see me all the time so you know what I’m doing.”

“Wrong,” he says. “That’s not what I want to do. Common misconception is that people who try to kill themselves need to be watched over constantly. Not true! That’s just prison. And jail. That’s not what I want this house to be like, and it’s not what I want to do to you. I just want you to take a break and actually take care of yourself for once. Don’t think I forgot about all those times you overworked yourself on the moon base.”

“What am I supposed to tell Mr. Miller—”

“Lucas can shove it,” Taako says. “Besides, I’ll have Krav handle it. He’s fuckin’ terrified of him.”

Angus giggles a little. Taako rubs his hand up and down his arm. “How do you feel about the rest of those nerds coming back in? We can keep them kicked out for longer if you want.”

“It’s okay now, I think. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Well you’re gonna have to. It’s gonna be the biggest new hot topic in this house for a while.”

He frowns and stares at his sheets. Taako nudges him and he keeps staring, frowning harder.

“What’s got you in that funk, my dude?”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “About the whole thing, but about the berries specifically.”

He takes a shaky breath in. “It’s fine, little man. ‘s all good.”

“It’s not and I’m sorry. I should’ve… something else. Something with less bad memories attached to it.”

“It would’ve had bad memories attached after anyways, even if nightshade wasn’t one of the worse options you could’ve chosen.” Angus winces and Taako presses his lips together for a second. “I don’t mean that just as a bad memories for Taako specifically deal. Those berries suck ass. You chose a painful, slow way to die my dude. It was just a bad choice all around.”

Angus looks at him then, clearly searching for something on his face. Taako feels a little squirmy under his stare. He opens his mouth to say something, closes it to rethink, and then says slowly, “The Director didn’t write about any of you eating deadly nightshade on your hundred year journey.”

“No she did not,” he agrees, matching his gaze.

Angus seems to find whatever he was looking for because he nods and goes back to staring at the sheets. “They can come in, I guess.”

“Before you say that, Merle’s probably here. Just so you know who’s gonna be coming through that door.”

He nods, still staring at the sheets. Taako swings off the bed and pads over to the door. He can hear low voices, but they’re not being very subtle. If they hadn’t been so preoccupied, they probably could’ve heard them from the bed. He swings the door open and the talking abruptly stops. Four pairs of eyes greet his, Merle finally joining them. He lets himself smile and motions his arm inside.

“We’re open for business.”

Keeping up this very put together, vaguely cheerful persona is incredibly difficult. He kind of wants to go sit in a dark closet and pull at his ears until the vertigo makes him pass out, but that’s for later.

Kravitz goes in first and Angus raises his head to meet his eyes. He lip wobbles a little, eyes glistening under his glasses, and godsdammit they’ve avoided actually crying up until now. Kravitz crosses the room very quickly and then hesitates at the bed. Angus gives a small nod and he sits.

“Are you…”

“I’m okay,” Angus says, voice thick and high pitched. The other three follow in behind. Barry sits at the foot if the bed, a little bit of distance from him. Lup sits in the chair Taako occupied all last night. Merle hefts himself up onto the head of the bed, waiting.

Kravitz offers his arms out and Angus leans forward into the hug, pressing his face into his shoulder. Kravitz looks so scared and relieved, wrapping his arms around his back. Taako can’t handle it.

“Bathroom,” he blurts out before stiffly walking out. He should be in there. Angus probably wants him to be, but fuck his emotions have gone haywire, anxiety sitting heavy in the hollow of his throat. He does actually fit himself in the closet of his bedroom, pressing his back against the jackets and coats up against the wall. He doesn’t tug on his ears but he does press his nails into the soft skin behind them. It digs and stings as he shudders out his breaths into the dark space. Something feels rattly in his body and he digs harder.

He’s not sure how long he’s in there for, but it’s enough for someone to get concerned. There’s footsteps on the floor of his room, pausing outside the closet doors.

“Taako?” Kravitz asks. There’s a quiet knock on the door. “Are you in there?”

Instead of answering, he reaches out and opens the door a touch. Another pause and then Kravitz is inside the space with him, pressed between clothes.

“Been a while since either of us have been in here,” Taako tries to joke. Kravitz rubs a thumb at the junction of his neck, mirroring the motion he’d made last night. He leans into it a bit, closing his eyes. He doesn’t want his dark vision right now, doesn’t want to see the look on his face.

“How are you?”

“Mmm, I’ve definitely been better, my dude.”

“Merle’s looking him over right now, making sure he’s alright. He should be fine.”

“Oh I know he’ll be fine. No doubt, no doubt. Just,” he lets out a breathy titter of a laugh. “Fuck, Krav, he actually fucking did that.”

“Yes,” Kravitz says, voice quiet. “He did. I’m very glad it didn’t work.”

“You know he tried to apologize about using the berries? Like- like I’d be fucking offended at his choice of suicide tool?”

There’s a pause in Kravitz’s breathing. “What did you say?”

“I told him he chose a shitty, slow way to die and that it didn’t matter what he fuckin’ chose, what else was I supposed to tell him?”

“I guess that works fine,” he says, sounding a little exasperated. “We should probably go back soon. If you’re ready.”

“Ugh. He started getting all weepy and I just… he almost died. He almost died while I was holding him and I—,” he cuts himself off with a sharp inhale. His hands are shaking and he balls them into fists. “He’s _fine_ but I—”

Kravitz cups his face in his hands and Taako opens his eyes. He’s looking a little worse for wear as well. “He’s alright now, but by the gods was it terrifying. He’s alive, and we’re keeping it that way. He’ll be fine, we’ll figure this out somehow.”

Taako nods and squeezes his own hands over Kravitz’s wrists gently. “Let’s, uh, get that final a-okay verdict from Merle.”

They’re waiting for them when they walk in. “Long bathroom break,” Lup says.

Taako shrugs. “Cannot control what the body needs, Lulu.”

She makes a face at that, turning back to Angus.

“He’s all good to go,” Merle says. He gives Angus a look. “I’d rather not have to get woken up at twelve thirty in the goddamn morning because you poisoned yourself in the middle of the fucking woods, so if this happens again, which I sure as hell hope it doesn’t, you gotta choose a more convenient time.”

“Merle, what the hell,” Barry hisses out, but Angus starts laughing, squeezing his eyes shut and clutching at his stomach. Taako may or may not laugh along with him for a little bit.

When he’s done, he wipes at his eyes and looks at Merle with the brightest face he’s had all day. “Duly noted, sir.”

“Oh he’s real good,” Merle says to the adults in the room. “Y’all keep an eye out, but he should be fine.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he grumbles, but his eyes are fond and Taako knows he would never want anything bad to happen to the kid. Especially not by his own hand.

“Do you need a rift back?” Lup offers.

“Yeah, that’d be good. Mavis is wondering what’s got me going house to house all day.”

“Gotcha,” she says, ripping the hole. “I’m gonna be right back. I guess make big decisions without me if you really want.”

They both disappear through the rift. Taako takes his seat on the bed again, right across from Angus.

“Well, she gave us permission. You’re going to talk to someone actually trained in all this bullshit because let’s be honest, we’re gonna fuck it up if we try. Not like it’s a foreign idea, but I speak for myself when I say I’m fresh outa good coping ideas.”

“I didn’t think you’d actually get right to it,” Lup says, popping her body back into the room. “But damn, go for it I guess. Good ideas flying everywhere.”

Angus doesn’t say anything to go against them, but he doesn’t say anything for it either. He’s doing that thing he does sometimes, waiting to see what exactly the point will be, what exactly he can get away with.

“Hey,” he snaps and points at him. Angus jumps and looks at him. “Stop detectiveing us. You’re not getting out of this.”

“Sorry, sir,” he says meekly.

Taako sighs. “You know I’m not mad at you. Come on. Just work with us a little here. Give us a little glimmer of hope I’m not gonna wake up and find you super dead in the morning.”

“I’m not going to do that to you,” he says, frustrated.

“Oh? Well last night says differently, mister wizard. Not really sure I can take your word on that.”

“I don’t want someone who patronizes me,” he says as Lup shoots Taako the dirtiest of looks.

“What do you mean?” Kravitz sits in the chair now.

“I,” he starts and then stops. He huffs out an agitated puff of breath. “I’m still, uh, still kind of little, I guess, and I don’t want someone who thinks that because of that what… problems I do or don’t have don’t matter.”

“Yeah, if anyone tells you that I’ll kick their ass.” Angus smiles and fiddles with the sheets. “I’m serious, that’s some bullshit that I don’t want someone telling you.”

“Yeah, no, absolutely no way that’d fly,” Lup adds.

“Plus, you don’t have to stick with the first person you get,” Barry says. “It’s kind of like dating? But with your mental health instead of romance. Not everyone’s gonna fit.”

“Okay,” he says quietly. “I guess that’s fine. I don’t have to tell you what we talked about, right?”

“No, and unless it’s something super serious, they shouldn’t talk to us about it either,” Taako says. “You get to choose what we know and when we know it. Sound good?”

“Yeah,” he says. Then he looks down at himself. “Can I get out of bed?”

“Of course,” Kravitz says. “What do you want to do?”

“Um, take a really long shower. And then I guess read? I’m not really sure what to do. Will one of you call Mr. Miller and tell him that I won’t be there the rest of the semester since Taako said I’m staying home? I don’t want him to worry.”

“Oh, you don’t want Lucas to worry, of course,” Taako says half bitterly and Angus makes a face at him.

“He’s kind of my boss,” Angus says.

“Fair enough, but he is still a ridiculous asshole.”

“Please just call him? I don’t know what you’ll tell him, but not the whole of it please.”

“Obvi,” Taako says. “Now you go take a big old hot shower and Krav and I will take care of that.”

He swings off the bed, nudging Kravitz’s arm on the way out for him to follow.

“What do we tell him?” Kravitz asks.

“Family emergency,” Taako says. “You should rift us into the room, it’ll intimidate him into asking less questions.”

“That is true,” he says, grinning. “Do you want to do that now?”

“Hold on,” he says, waving his hand over his face to set the glamour in place. “Now I’m ready.”

“Perfect.”

Lucas definitely drops his pen when they rift into his office, eyes wide behind his glasses. It’s almost laughable, and Taako does laugh just for the fun of it.

“Man, that never gets old.”

“Wh-what—,” he coughs into his hand, looking at Kravitz warily. “What do you want?”

“We’re taking boy wonder home for the semester,” he says.

“Angus? Is that why he wasn’t at class this morning? I was wondering.”

“Mhm, we snatched him up last night.”

“…Can I ask why?”

“Family shit,” Taako says dismissively. “I know you know how that goes.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s,” Taako swallows. “He’s good. He’ll be back here ready to go next semester, but we got some stuff to deal with at home so he’s there for now.”

“That does not sound reassuring.” He furrows his brow. “Are you sure he’s okay? He seemed really off yesterday.”

“He’s fine,” Kravitz says, low and even.

“Why do you have to do that?” Lucas shudders. “We’re having a normal conversation, why do you have to be intimidating like that?”

“It’s fun,” Kravitz says, smiling. “Especially with you.”

“Ugh,” he turns back to Taako. “He’s fine?”

“He’s fine,” he says, leaning from foot to foot. “And he’ll be back, as much as I want him at my school. He likes it here. You should feel lucky of that.”

“Oh I enjoy having him here. He’s really something else.”

“Phrasing and wording next time, Lucas. A little less creepy in the future maybe? If it’s fine with you that we keep him for a while, then we’ll be going.”

“I guess it’s fine,” he says, ignoring Taako’s comment. “Make sure he comes back, though? Now you’ve got me worried.”

“Nothing to worry about, kemosabe, don’t get your undies in a twist.” Kravitz makes another rift and Taako steps backwards into it. “Hope we don’t talk soon!”

Angus is still in the shower when they get back, and Lup is pacing outside the bathroom door.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t want him to do something,” she says.

“He’s showering,” Taako says flatly. “You don’t have to wait outside the bathroom for him.”

“Taako—”

“Nah, nah we’re not gonna be those people who take away closed doors and privacy just cause the kid ate poison berries last night. He gets his privacy in this house same as everyone else, okay? I told him I wasn’t gonna take that away.”

“Taako, he tried to kill himself,” Kravitz says. “Her concern is more than warranted.

“Watching over suicidal people constantly to make sure they don’t try to off themselves again just makes them wanna do it more to spite you. I’d rather not add any fuel to that, thank you. He lives here. He gets his privacy. He won’t do it again, and if he does, we’re all here in the house with him.”

“I can hear you,” comes from behind the bathroom door, and Taako hadn’t realized the water was shut off. He opens the door with damp, fluffy hair and actual day clothes on. He looks tense and uncomfortable.

“Sorry, bubeleh.”

“It’s fine,” he shrugs, still looking uncomfortable. “I’ll just read in the living room so you don’t have to fight about it anymore.”

“We’re not fighting,” Lup says.

“Sounds like it to me,” Angus says, going into his room to grab a book and then walking down the hall to the living room. Barry’s in there, reading over notes from the last reaper gig he’d done. He looks up at Angus briefly to give him a smile before looking back down. Angus settles into his regular spot on the couch, curling his legs up and opening his book.

Lup grabs Taako’s wrists and pulls him into her room, motioning a hand for Kravitz to follow.

“You don’t have to drag me,” he says, snatching his hand back.

Lup closes the door and turns back to him, arms crossed. “What exactly do you think is happening here?”

“What exactly do you mean?” He asks, mocking her tone.

“Do you understand how serious this is? We can’t just- Taako, we can’t just let him do whatever the hell he wants and trust that he’ll be fine and not up and try to kill himself again. He kind of lost that trust, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, sure, why do you think I’m keeping him home for the rest of the semester? I agree with you. But he gets his privacy. He gets a closed door. He gets a lock. It’s not like we aren’t all magic users. We can bust that shit easy if need be.”

“Imagine what could happen in the middle of the night when either we’re away or asleep! Gods Taako, are you really just going to let it happen again?”

“Don’t,” he says lowly. “Don’t you fucking tell me I’m letting him go off and kill himself. I know how serious last night was, I’m not the fucking swiss cheese brained idiot wizard I was two years ago. And even then, I wasn’t dumb enough to not understand how serious my kid trying to off himself is.  Don’t fucking act like I am.”

“I didn’t—”

“Not in so many words, no. You think I think this is some big joke.” He feels Kravitz’s hand rest on his shoulder and shrugs it off. “I know it’s not. I know exactly how big of a joke it isn’t. You’re not the one with hands on experience in this fucking field, so let me take the lead on this one, mkay?”

Lup stares at him, mouth parted, and Taako feels Kravitz’s fingers wrap loosely around his wrist. He allows them to stay.

“Wh… what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” She says eventually. “What the fuck do you mean ‘hands on experience?’”

“Nope,” Taako says, reaching around her to open the door and leave. She slams it shut out of his hand and stands directly in front of it.

“What the _fuck_ do you mean?”

“I would also like to know what that means,” Kravitz says, voice sounding a little off kilter. His grip tightens on his wrist, however small, but it feels like a weight keeping him trapped in this conversation.

“It came out wrong,” he tries first. “Besides, this isn’t about me, this is about Angus out there. So if you’ll excuse me, I gotta check on my magic boy.”

“Taako,” Lup cracks out. “Talk to me?”

“Long time ago,” he says, caught in the lie. “Long, long time ago. Don’t gotta worry. Cha’boy’s all good now.”

Kravitz’s arms wrap around his middle from behind and he shivers. Lup’s holding her arms and she looks so upset, jaw clenched and eyes damp.

“Come on, you two. Bummer of a mood you’ve made here. It was a really long time ago. Like, I don’t even remember most of it. Psh. Really, I don’t need this intervention esque mood harshing whatever chill I’ve gathered. Because if we keep this up I am gonna flip out.”

Kravitz lets him go, but Lup pulls him into a hug of her own. His breathing feels a little shaky.

“I appreciate the concern, not really, but Lup, my flawless composure over everything that’s happened in the last twenty four hours is paper thin and getting thinner so I would appreciate it if you didn’t make me have a whole ass breakdown in your bedroom.”

She gives him one last squeeze and lets him go. “We’re talking about this later, once everything calms down.”

“Fine, I guess, not really.” He scrubs at his face, removing the glamour he’d put up to deal with Lucas. “Gods I need a fucking shower.”

“I think you needs some sleep, love. The rest of us are technically undead, you’re the one that needs actual rest.”

“Nah, I’m good. Gotta make sure you all don’t mess up my boy too bad.”

“Come on,” Lup scoffs. “Like we haven’t lived with him for almost two solid years. We can make sure nothing bad happens for a few hours while you catch up on your precious z’s.”

“I’ll sleep if you let him have his privacy. None of this open doors bullshit.”

“Fine,” Lup concedes. “Now go take a shower and get some godsdamn sleep.”

He keeps the light off while he showers, scrubbing his face clean of the residual make up from yesterday. His bed feels like the most comfortable thing in the world. While there’s still the heavy underlying worry for Angus, it doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep completely.

It’s mid afternoon by the time he wakes up, and he’s a little miffed that no one woke him up before then. He goes out to the living room to find the four of them playing a very fast paced game of spoons. Lup’s hand darts out for a spoon and Angus goes practically on top of her, grabbing his spoon up so fast he barely sees it.

“Spoons?”

“Taako!” Angus exclaims. “We’ve been playing card games for a while now. They tried to make it very easy for me to win so I would feel better, but then I schooled them all very fast and they stopped doing that. It’s a lot better now that they’re actually playing like reasonable adults.”

Kravitz snorts into his cards, closing his eyes with a grin.

“What games have you gone through?”

“We played Uno at first, and then we moved into a really lengthy game of Mao, then War, then Slapjacks, now Spoons.”

“All the good ones, sounds like. You win them all?

“Almost. Lup and Kravitz won a few rounds of Mao and made some really interesting rules. Do you want to play the next round of Spoons?”

“I’ll take you up on that later. Right now, what I’m getting is that no one’s started dinner, so I’m gonna get on that.”

They eat dinner together, and the mood while still tense is fairly cheerful. When Angus head to bed later that night, he leaves his door cracked a bit, which is normal and something he usually does, but Taako’s a little worried he feels like he has to.

He knocks on the doorframe and waits for the okay from him to enter. Angus is sitting in bed, pajamas on, book in hand and lamp light on. He looks up at Taako, waiting.

“You know you don’t have to keep your door open, right? You’re good to close it whenever.”

“Oh I know,” Angus says, setting his book down on the bed. “You and Miss Lup weren’t very quiet in her bedroom.”

He can feel his face flush as his stomach drops. “You- what exactly—”

“Oh, I figured that out earlier today. You made too many less than vague comments for me not to figure it out.”

He hesitates for a second. “Barry?”

“I think he kind of knew too,” Angus says, drawing his knees up. “But him and Miss Lup had a much quieter conversation once you went to sleep.”

“Damn. Not really how I wanted that to go, but whatever.”

“It’s alright. It makes me feel less like you’re going to be upset if I do something even a little different than normal.”

“Ango,” he says, sitting on the edge of the bed. “If you start feeling real shitty like that again, come find me and we’ll figure something out, okay? I mean that. I don’t care how busy I am.”

He nods, hands in plain view. None of his fingers are crossed, and Taako takes it as a win.

“You also said something about feeling like you don’t exist earlier? Do you mean like, you don’t feel like we care about you enough?”

“No, not that,” he says. “Sometimes everything feels floaty and I don’t really feel real. Do you get that?”

“Yeah I get that. That too. You start feeling floaty or shit like that, I am also available for helping you figure that out.”

“Okay.”

“Get some rest, okay? We got some work to do on getting you someone actually adept in talking this stuff out tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Taako,” Angus says as he stands to leave.

“Night, bubeleh.”

It doesn’t take long to find him the first therapist, a human woman in her fifties. Angus is practically thrumming with anxiety as they wait in the waiting room, just him and Taako there. He answers a check sheet questionnaire with the paper tilted up so Taako can’t see his answers, which is fine. He doesn’t need to know it if Angus doesn’t want to tell it.

He does get some good lesson planning done while Angus is back there. It’s an hour, prompt and right on the dot. She walks back out with Angus, who’s clutching the straps of his bag.

“My receptionist can get you all set up for the next appointment, if you like,” she says, standing next to said receptionist.

Taako looks at Angus, who gives him this look and Taako nods. “I’ll get back to you on that one, my dude. Wanna double check with the little man first. Catch you later.”

“What happened?” He asks when they’re walking home.

“I didn’t like her,” he says, gripping at his bag anxiously. “She was nice, that wasn’t the problem, I just didn’t like her.”

“Any particular reasons why?”

“She said this thing to another lady we passed, commenting on her hair because it was blue. She said ‘I like that! Us girls get to do that. Boys don’t really get that many options in hair.’”

Taako makes a disgusted humming noise. “Well that’s a bad start. Anything else?”

“I… I felt like I couldn’t do anything wrong. We did this thing called ‘sitting still like a frog’ where we sat still and breathed with our eyes closed, and I got all jittery and needed to move but I felt like she would get upset that I couldn’t even concentrate on that.”

“She’s deffo not the one then. That’s fine. Back to the drawing board.”

“You’re sure that’s okay? I can try again if you want me to.”

“Nope. You felt uncomfortable, so we try again with someone else. It’s not a problem, Angus.”

“Okay,” he says quietly.

The next one is a half elf man who has a soft accent and a snobby attitude, Angus tells him.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I really tried to like him. But he seemed really uppity and like he’d actually make me call him sir as a respect title instead of just a comfort thing and I didn’t like it.”

“Bad vibes mean no. Again, not an issue. We’ll try a little harder not to get some snobby asshole.”

The third, and final, person is a halfling that wears overalls with stains on the bottoms of the legs and stands waiting with crossed arms for him to come back. Taako was a little worried this person would be too similar to the last guy, a little uppity and demanding in respect, but Angus comes out holding his back straps loosely and nods when asked about a second meeting.

“You find a good one?”

“I think so. They’re very nice, but feel like they won’t take any nonsense. I like them.”

“What’s their name again?”

“Doctor Jallisall. Jalli for short. It’s just and introductory meeting of course, but it felt good.”

“Well that’s what we want out of this, so I’m glad we found it! Now, do you want ice cream?”

Are we celebrating?”

“Uh, duh? This is a momentous occasion, pumpkin. The third one’s always the best. We pretty much have to get ice cream to commemorate.”

“Two scoops,” Angus demands.

“Two scoops,” Taako agrees.

He goes weekly, Wednesdays at three. It’ll probably change once he goes back to school, weekends when he can make it back home to do so, but for now the stability seems to be doing him some good.

On a sunny Sunday morning he curls up on the couch next to Taako and rests his head on his shoulder.

“Bad day,” he mumbles. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“That’s chill, my dude. I got nothing to do this fine day, so we can sit here long as you like.”

They sit there for about an hour, Taako half dozing as Angus sits against him. Then he sits up.

“Can we make cranberry bread?”

“Do you mean can I make cranberry bread and you watch from the counter?”

He shrugs and smiles. Taako sighs. “I guess. But you better wash the dishes after.”

“Deal.”

Angus falls asleep with his head on the counter about halfway through and Taako leaves him a few slices of the finished cranberry bread on a plate for when he wakes up, doing the couple dishes he’d dirtied himself.

He finds Angus curled up in the hallway in the middle of the day one day, staring at his hands with a furrowed brow.

“Agnes?”

He doesn’t look at him, still staring at his hands. Taako sits across from him and place his own hands in Angus’s. He jolts a little, staring at the new hands in front of him.

“Whose hands are this?”

“Yours,” he says immediately. “Taako’s. They’re Taako’s.”

“Good. Look up?”

He does as he’s asked, staring into Taako’s eyes.

“Whose face are you looking at?”

“Taako’s,” he says again, looking up at him unblinkingly.

“Nice. Now, whose hands am I squeezing?” He squeezes his hands, a rhythmic pulse.

It’s a good minute of rattly breathing and staring at their hands, occasionally squeezing back, before Angus says, “mine,” in a quiet voice.

“Right again.” He moves his hands up his arms, holding his biceps. “Whose arms am I holding?”

It’s a shorter but still lengthy pause before he says, “mine.”

He continues like this, up shoulders and neck and hair and finally face.

“My face,” he says almost immediately when prompted.

“Now, the big question. Who are you?”

“A… Angus,” he says shakily. “I’m Angus?”

“That’s you. You’re Angus.”

“I’m Angus.”

“Yep.”

“I’m Angus,” he breathes out. “Alright, that was fun.”

“Back with me, boy wonder?”

“Mhm, I’m back.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.” Angus sits up some, stretching his legs out. Taako sits on the opposing wall. They don’t really need to get up. Everyone can walk around them if they really want to.

“You gonna tell Jalli?”

“Do you think I need to?”

“Uh, yeah. This is exactly the type of stuff you’re supposed to tell them. When you get all floaty and unreal? I’m sure they’ve got stuff for you to prevent it or deal with it.”

“I guess so.”

The weeks go by fast, marked by each visit with Jalli, each time Angus comes home looking a little lighter, a little less like the weight of their planar system is resting on his shoulders. Taako relaxes a little more, gets less anxious every time Angus leaves his sight. He’d never taken away his agency, his free choice and privacy, but that doesn’t stop him from worrying just as hard as Lup and Barry and Kravitz.

Taako comes home from the school to find Angus wrapped up in Kravitz’s arms on the floor by the couch. Angus is shaking, he thinks he might be crying, and Kravitz looks up at him in desperation.

“Hey, bubeleh,” he says as he sits down next to them, putting a hand on a free spot on his back. “What’s wrong?”

“I _wanted_ to,” he says harshly. “I wanted to I wanted to I wanted to but I didn’t.”

Taako takes a second to breathe, Angus is right in front of him, perfectly fine. “I’m glad,” he says, rubbing his hand against his shirt. “I’m very, very glad you didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” he says roughly before he starts crying.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Angus,” Kravitz says, holding him a little tighter. “You did the right thing, telling me. I’m so, so glad you did.”

“Kravitz is good for that sorta thing,” Taako says, trying to lighten things a little, but if anything it makes Angus cry harder.

It takes him a while to calm back down enough to be coherent. He pulls against Kravtiz’s hold when he is, sitting his back against the couch. “’M sorry.”

“You’re good, angles. Not like we don’t all need a good cry sometimes.”

“I’m trying,” he says, and he seems frustrated with himself. “I’ve been feeling way better, but then today was just really, really bad. But I don’t know why! I thought I was doing it right, but I guess not?”

“Hey. Jalli’s probably gonna tell you this when you talk to them next week, but sometimes when we’re getting better, things get shitty again for no reason. There’s no good reason why, we’re feeling way better, doing better at not freaking out and actually talking to people when you need to, but sometimes your brain fucks up a little and forgets all that. It just wants to do what it was used to doing. And sometimes, even when you’re way past all that bullshit you went through, it’ll pop back up and demand your attention like the little asshole it is.”

Angus is staring at him anxiously, waiting for what he’ll say next.

“And it’s okay that that happens. Just because you had a really shitty day doesn’t mean every good day you’ve had goes down the drain. Getting better had ups and downs, and sometimes those downs come when you’ve been feeling really up. It doesn’t make you bad, it just makes you a regular person. And talking to people when you know you need to is a big part of dealing with that, and it seems like you’ve got that down pretty good.”

He nods and wipes at his cheeks to dry them.

“Alright. You feeling better?”

He nods again, but doesn’t make any move to get up.

“Milkshake?” Taako asks and receives a moderately enthusiastic nod. “Alright. You mind if I borrow Krav.”

“That’s okay.”

“You alright?” He asks Kravitz when they’re alone in the kitchen.

“Yes,” he answers carefully. “I think so, at least.”

“Sounds realistic,” Taako chides. “What happened?”

“I ran to the store for some groceries, and Lup and Barry are out on a job right now, but I figured he’d be fine, but when I got back he was waiting on the couch. He waited until I put the groceries away and then told me he’d been thinking about killing himself again and figured I should know.”

“You’re sure you’re alright?”

“I will be,” he says, a little more honestly. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Yeah, it’ll do that,” Taako says, rummaging around for some milk and ice cream, nabbing the vanilla extract. “He’ll be alright, though. Just gotta get him through today and tomorrow should be a little better.”

He makes all three of them a shake, presenting Angus his with a little bit of a flourish. It earns him a grin and that’s exactly what he’d wanted.

Before too long the new semester is coming up. Angus seems very ready to go back, arranging his notes so they’re ready to go. His meeting with Jalli are moving to every other Saturday, which fits into both of their schedules nicely. He has their work stone frequency for emergencies, but neither of them think he’ll need it.

“You gotta call me if something goes wrong,” Taako says the last day before he goes back. “Even if it’s just a one off bad day, let me know. Also you have to call Mondays and Thursdays again.”

“I know, Taako. You told me all of this weeks ago.”

“I just wanted to see if you’d remember, and you did. You passed the test, which means you’re almost ready to go back.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Angus says, smiling. “But I’ll be back every other weekend, so you’ll get to see me more.”

“Tell Lucas his school sucks for me, just the once. That’s all I ask of you this semester. That and to stay safe.”

“I can do one of those things, and I think you know which one it is.”

“Stay safe?”

“Stay safe.”

Taako gets a stone call on a Friday night around five, and he picks it up hastily. “Angus?”

“Hi Taako,” his voice sounds fine, no trace of fear written into it.

“What’re you doing calling me on a Friday?”

“Can I come back for the weekend tomorrow?”

“You don’t have a meeting with Jalli this week.”

“I know,” he says quietly. “I just miss you is all.”

“Cheesy Petes, kid, you had me freaking out. Of course you can come back tomorrow. Why does that even need to be a question?”

“Because I don’t want to take the train.”

“Ah, yup. Reaper rifting. My boy travels in style. All three of those nerds should be home tomorrow to come grab you, so just give up a time and they’ll be there.”

“Eleven?”

“Eleven sounds fucking fantastic.” He pauses. “You’re okay, right?”

“Yeah, I’m feeling good right now. I just want to see you all.”

“Good. Because if you’re lying I will kick your tiny little butt.”

Angus’s laugh sounds like music to his ears. “That shouldn’t be necessary. I feel great.”

“I’m glad.”

“Hey Taako?”

“Hmm?”

“I know I say sorry about everything a lot, but I’m gonna switch it up. Thank you. I’m really glad you’re my family.”

“You too little man,” he says gently. “I’ve gotta finish up dinner, but I will see you tomorrow.”

“See you too, Taako.”

He ends up at their house at eleven o one, one minute after the pick up time, and greets Taako with a massive hug.

“Miss me that much?”

“Mhm,” he says into his shirt. “Wanted to come home for a little bit.”

“Well here you are, mister magic, now what do you want to do?”

They end up cooking for a while, Angus learning new recipes and spice mixes to go into them. After they’re saddled with a healthy amount of cooked and baked goods, they settle in for a few card games with the whole household, dealing out the cards for Mao.

“Failure to knock,” Angus says to Barry, pointing to the card stack. He groans and adds a card to the ever growing pile in his hands.

Taako’s fairly good at reading emotions, especially the emotions of his family. Barry is frustrated with the game but happy to be there. Lup is gleefully scheming out new rules to add to the game for when and if she wins. Kravitz keeps looking at Angus to gauge how many rule breaks he can slip passed him. And Angus, well, Angus is just plain happy.

Taako’s feeling a healthy amount of happy sitting in his chest as well.

He nudges Angus with his foot. “You coming up with any grand new rules for us to lose at, boy wonder?”

“Mention of the rules,” he says, pointing to the card deck. Taako reluctantly takes one. Angus grins. “I guess you’ll just have to find out and see.”

He thinks that’s something worth waiting for.

**Author's Note:**

> whoops this was meant to be a short little h/c oneshot but it got real long and uh here you go i guess.  
> i did a hit on the magic boy. im only a little bit sorry


End file.
